Fancy Nancy

Life at a Crossroads

Getting a job right out of college is every persons dream. Moving to New York City is also something that many people aspire to do. So why is it that I am having such a difficult time deciding to live and work in NYC? Tomorrow I have a job interview for an insurance company. I want so desperately to do well and have the job offered to me. At the same time, the thought of being away from LA is tough. I love LA, but I also love NY. I can see myself living in both places and I know that if I don’t take this opportunity that is being presented to me… I will regret it for the rest of my life. But even with this knowledge I just can’t make my mind up. I am seriously having such a difficult time deciding. I feel like New York has opened its arms out to me… so how can I walk away from such an amazing opportunity? The thought of my family and friends back home lingers in my mind. As of this very moment I have no idea what I will do if I indeed get the job. Oh life.

Done

Just turned in my last final at UCLA :(

Changes

It took me until this very moment, with less than one week left of school, for me to realize how sad I am about ending my undergraduate educational career. I have been lucky in the sense that I was accepted to my dream school. I enjoyed my two years at UCLA without ever taking a day for granted. Each day I walked by Royce hall I reminded myself of the hard work it took to get to this very place. Surely I could have focused a little bit more on my academics but I don’t regret focusing on my social life. Before arriving at UCLA I literally had no friends. I spent my days at community college alone, with minimal interaction with other students. During breaks I would sit in my car and sing to the radio for hours. I was very focused and determined in what I wanted, but I was also very introverted. It was at UCLA that I made friends, some that I hope will last a lifetime. So even though my academic record could have been stronger in numbers, it is the experience that I gained out it that matters to me most. I learned to be social, make mistakes, gain friends, lose friends, make more mistakes, improvise, compete, and to challenge myself past my limits. I knew this day would come but I am sad it had to come so soon. I am leaving my safety net and being cast out into the real world where now I have to find a job, new friends and essentially a new life. Humans like the familiar, its comfortable which is why my heart aches a little right now. But safe is not what I want for myself. I want adventure. I want challenges. I want to live not thinking about the things I would like to do but instead doing them. Life is scary but being afraid to live it is even worst. So its with a knot in my throat and a smile on my face that I start saying my goodbyes to this place. In fact I think I will leave a little piece of my heart tucked in this little corner of Powell Library. 

People becoming Memories

One of the most bittersweet things in life is when someone you once knew or cared for becomes a distant memory. Despite your best efforts to keep that person close to us through pictures, and videos… the truth is that life goes on and at one point no matter how much you want to remember that person, their presence in your life irrevocably fades away. Something as simple as a person’s voice or laugh gets distorted in your minds and you can no longer fully remember it. Events that seemed so important in a distant past begin to look like clips of movies pilled together with no cohesiveness. The scary part is realizing that this person is fading from your memory… because when they first left you swore to never forget. And though at first not a single day passed without you thinking of them, today you can’t even keep the days of the week straight. I think what truly stays is the effect that that person kept in your life and that’s something that you can never forget. 

Miss you Bree,

<3 Nancy